i just had sex bonerless
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Can I color on your dick again?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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