i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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