But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
