I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he puts the penis in happiness.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
