Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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