Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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