I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
