As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
