omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
