I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
