dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Damn victory sex feels great
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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