Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i wish my penis had a tongue
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize