I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
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You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
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So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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