worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
