I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
