Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I AM VODKA MAN
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.