can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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