I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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