I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
