Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
