That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think I have vodka in my lungs
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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