i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
