I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
