You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
