I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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