The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
