I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
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