so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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