what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
