That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
