At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
