Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
