The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
