i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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