I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
