I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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