White coat. Heels.
Where is the hickey?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
