I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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