what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
