Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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