At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
