There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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