i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
