i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
