We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
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Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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