your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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