Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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