his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
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He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
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