you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
