I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
