Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
