after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
