He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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