Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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