I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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