Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
